Dreaming.....

Hello,

It's been sooo long since I've written. It was one year ago yesterday that I flew off to the Czech Republic for fertility treatment. I can't believe a whole year has gone by already. WOW!

A whole other year of disappointment and acceptance. A whole year of struggleing with my marriage and myself. Feeling shorted and forsaken.

Today I ran into a friend who, on her very first try of IVF became pregnant. She is also 9 years older than me. Big sigh. I am genuinely happy for her. But honestly, my heart sank. But at the same time, I felt a surge of hope. Maybe I could pull off one more round. ???? J wants to. It's just the disappointment that I can't bear. It can be too much.

In any case, I just wanted to write a little. Yes, I am thinking of going back to Czech to try again. DID I just say that??? Europe is so beautiful. If it doesn't work, at least I'll have some European memories.

HMMMMMMMM.......Stay tuned.