I'm beginning to think this trip is a No-Go. Josh & I are fighting. Really bad. I am totally stressed out and am not feeling like I should be for someone who is about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. My future and my marriage is riding on this whole trip. This whole idea has become almost too much for me to bear right now. I've been crying, I feel so unsure. I don't feel supported at all by Josh. I'm sure most of this is because of the fights we had this whole past week.
Everything is just about in place. I got the bid leave I requested. I only have one day that is in question, but I should be able to manage around that after a talk w/ my supervisor. I will try to talk to DH tonight about what he is feeling and needing right now. I want to see if he really has it in him to go in real life. It's one thing to PLAN it, a complete other to actually DO it. In the meantime, I will try to focus on the end result, which would be bringing a brand new life into this world.
God Help Me right now.
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