Candy Coated Teardrops

Hi Everyone,

Sorry so late to post, but it's been a long day. *WARNING*..Scroll down Slowly!!

I woke this morning feeling pretty good, not nervous at all. A few dreams throughout the night, nothing too horrific, except the one where my sister Annie was moving back home and for some reason, so was I. I insisted I should have the big yellow room because Annie got it all while growing up so now it should be my turn to have it. My mother insisted Annie was getting the large room and I was getting the small yellow one. This dream is derived from the yellow "sunshine" room at the clinic I'm sure. Weird......

I decided to take a little rollerblade before departing to the clinic so as to burn some energy. Off I went and did my skate through the baby, High~tech European baby stoller, rollerblading, biking mecca on the path outside of the hotel. My vision only caught all the mommies with thier tiny infants, pregnant mommies coming from the hospital on the path, grandmothers strolling their precious grandbabies,two year old twins holding hands frollicking with puppies they cannot catch in their little waddle. Those sights did not cause me sadness, only hope, alot of hope.

I cut the blade short so as to not get overheated. Showered, mediatated, put on my most happiest colors and trendiest fashions to go and pick up the "kids" (Hey, I gotta rep to protect) LOL Pick up was at 12:20. Funny because we arrived at the clinic at 12:20. Lisa and I were both anxious. Conrad drove because the road up to the clinic it extrememly bumpy and we didn't want the Autobahn 500 on the way back, like the taxi driver gave us last week. LOL

Inside the clinic, I started to get nervous. Mostly becasue of Josh. Also because I still have to ALWAYS think of everything!! I wasn't feeling connected to him at all. So frustrating. (we can talk about that later) Not too long of a wait until they called my name....Ms. Sh*sky???? It's funny how the Czech people pronounce it perfectly..LOL

We walked into the office and talked with the embryologist who happened to be a woman. She gave us the report quite frankly....

THREE BLASTOCYSTS!!! yep 3 as in 1,2,3..Tres in Spanish THREE. The grades go like this....1 Expanded Blastocycst, Grade One (which is the highest grade you can get) 2 Blastocyst Grade One...Three all together. The others that were fertilized were only morulas (google it) and she did not suggest to freeze them at this stage because those do not thaw well. I have nothing to freeze. Which is O.K. by me. She recommended putting THREE back in. Partly because this is my third IVF, second transfer. The first Dr. put 4 back in, but don't forget, that was a three day transfer. Basically I have the stongest three!!! I cried, I couldn't hold it in. I really didn't expect this many and them being so strong. This so far is the best cycle yet. Even better when I see a positive pregnancy test. Would you like to see the Blasts? Ha-Ha I thought you wouldAren't they beautiful??? I thought you would say that. I can't tell you which one is the expanded Blast, bacause I was only half listening to Dr. Anna when he told me. Also I had to take the picture from the screen and the Blasts were moving up through the culture, so the moment of opportunity was small. You get the idea though. I hope. I've learned that the Expanded Blast is one that is basically getting out of it's shell and ready to go, as in READY to implant. After they transfered them, I went to the sunshine room to rest for about an hour. I put on my favorite songs from the Ipod, the ones that make me most happy and I pictured all of your smiling faces with me and even shed a tear because I felt your presence. Seriously.

They called me out, I paid for some more incidentals and then we went back to the hotel. I am resting now. Well, trying. I didn't want to keep you waiting so this is all I have for now. I'm still letting in all sink in. I love you all and thanks for being there with me today. I needed you.

Jennifer:)
xoxoxo
The first picture is the Scary elevator. The second is me in the scary elevator feeling happy that I may becoming pregnant!!! YAY