(Mom, I'm fine.......)
Well today we finally made it to Vienna. What a lovely trip. We made our first parental decision going there. I was very nervous to leave the "kids" in case the clinic needed me for something. Like say, an emergency 3 day transfer. Any how, I imagined every scenario and backed myself up with plan "B" and then got the go ahead by people who know the drill, so we felt safe and sound leaving for a half day. We went with 4 other couples all here for the same reason, staying at other hotels. We traveled by train which was very simple and fast. About a 2 and half hour ride, changing trains only once. The only thing that was bothersome was a little rain. The weather has sure turned in the opposite direction. Last week sunny, this week rain....O, well. It's got a very Ohio~like feeling here with the green, green grass, and the rainy, cold weather.. LOL
Along the train ride I couldn't help but think if the tracks we were on were the same ones used for the cars going to concentration camps. It's hard not to think of something so morose as there always seems to be a reference of that period somewhere over here. The general concenus was that, yes, it probably was the same view. It's part of history.....
Arriving in Vienna was an awesome feeling. Finally I felt something other than IVF. It helped get my mind off the upcoming pending few days. We took an hour bus tour around the city to get familiarized, then jumped off and walked with everyone to get pizza and more sausages. YUMMY! I really wanted to go into Mozarts house or maybe hear a symphony playing at the Opera house, but time wasn't on our side. We did visit the Stephansdome cathedral.....WOW.....J was so overwhelmed I couldn't get him out of there. I said a prayer in this massive holy place and then lit one candle for our 11 growing embryos. I wanted to light more but I didn't want to burn myslef...LOL
Next on the agenda was the Palace. Josh has this thing for buying Souveniors for his whole family as soon as we get anywhere touristy..THE VERY FIRST THING!!!!! It's a pain in the ass for me, because first we were on a short time schedule, second, we are not here for souveniors, third, we got places to see!! Of course if the situation arises and time permits then by all means, get the stupid shot glass. I respectivly had to break off from the group going to the Palace so they didn't have to feel the pain, just so he could shop........Enough about that....
It started raining hard, so we opted to go into a small, dainty cafe...(Mom, you would have loved this place. In spirit you sure were there with me).....I had my last cup of expresso, (if any of you know me, you know I don't need it, but it is sooooooo good here) then I ordered something that will stay with me forever I'm guessing... Apple struedel!! Not just any apple struedel, apple struedel floating with vanilla custard on the bottom of the dish. So light and fluffy, I couldn't stop eating it or licking it off my spoon. It was like heaven. Jenhotsky no more, Jenfatsky more like it. I'm NOT kidding....LOL
Well, now I should tell you that I feel I have done everything I possilby could for this cycle of IVF. I didn't work, I rested, I ate, slept, walked, watched movies, prayed, meditated, ate some more, took care of my body, no pressure to be had anywhere around, (except for souvenier buying LOL) I did the best I could do. So, it's not up to me the next few days. Of course, if I'm lucky enough to have ANY embyros to be transferred on Thursday, then I will rest for 5 days straight (Yes 5 days) before I take the long flight home. (I can't wait to get back home) There is nothing more I can do, I did my very best. I went the extra mile. So I guess what I'm saying is, that if it doesn't work out the way I hope and dream of, then that's just the way it's going to be. I really think I'm going to be o.k. I'll accept the initial disappointment and sadness (as I had to make some hard core financial and emotional decsions to make this trip even possible) I'll have my moment, then I will get back up and travel towards another path in my life that I will pursue with the utmost integrity and energy that I can possibly muster. It's the only choice I have. I'm hoping for the best, planning for the worst. But will it be the "Worst" thing that ever happens to me? Not having kids? I think not.
I will close on that note and invite you all to be with me in spirit on Thursday the 22nd. for the transfer. I will give the exact time in tomorrows blog. No one is allowed in the room with me, not even J. So, if you have the time, (it will be early for you guys, 06-0630ish) and the sandman gives permission for you to wake and think of me for a little while, I will greatly appreciate it.
Love you & miss you, all day, everyday, all the time.
JLS
xoxoxo
JLS
5 comments:
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold
Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold
See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold
Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
GOOD MORNING MY LOVE. I AM LIFTING YOU UP TO THE LORD THAT HE MAY PROTECT YOU AND PLANT THE SEED THAT YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT. I ASK HIM TO GIVE YOU FAITH, AND HOPE AS YOU EMBARK ON THIS JOURNEY. AMEN.....GOD BLESS YOU MY DEAR ONE. LOVE MOMMY
MY DEAR ONE, I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO BEEN THERE WITH YOU AT THE CAFE, BUT I WOULD OPT FOR A WONDERFUL CUP OF TEA WITH YOU. MY EYES WELLED UP AT YOUR SECOND PARAGRAPH, THE TRAIN TRACKS, IT STILL GETS TO ME WHAT THE NAZIS DID TO THOSE PEOPLE, YES, PEOPLE, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY WERE, HUMAN BEINGS. ANYWAY, MAKING A HUGE POT OF VEGETABLE BEEF SOUP, AS THE WEATHER HERE IS QUITE CHILLY, IN THE 40'S. LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND THOUGH, IT'S GOING TO BE IN THE HIGH 70'S AND SUNSHINE FOR A CHANCE, A NICE DAY FOR A COOKOUT, WHICH I AM HAVING. EMAILED TRISH FOR THE INSTRUCTION ON HOW TO FIX THAT BEEF SHE MADE WHEN I WAS THERE, BUT NO ANSWER AS YET, BEEN WAITING FOR 4 DAYS. THAT'S OK I HAVE PLAN 2 IN EFFECT. I LOVE YOU HONEY, TAKE CARE AND AS ALWAYS MANY BLESSSINGS AND PRAYERS LOVE MOMMY
Hello Miss JJ,
It sounds to me like you had an amazing day trip to Vienna. The Cathedral must have been magical and I'm sure the strudel was delicious.At least you are enjoying the sights and the food. Hotsky or fatsky, no matter how you look you know your family and friends love you either way.
I know tomarrow is the BIG day for you and I can only imagine the anticipation and anxiety you must be feeling today. Well I know you have alot of prayers coming your way, and you deserve this miricle.
Ok, on to another subject,the kitties. Yesterday Siana and I went to visit the kitties and Baby greeted us very affectionatly. I did not see the ohter kitty until Siana looked under the bed and yes there she was and stayed the whole time we were there. I must admit I did help myself to a little wine and Siana had some ice cream. We also had some chololate, and some jelly beans, they were delicious, but not as good as the strudel. We tried to brush Baby's hair but could not find a brush. So we left and had lunch at the BBY. The new manager was there, Jeff and his wife, they seem very nice. They want Jeannette to stay, so do we, but of all people there, Patty is staying, as well. Soooooooooooo, we shall see what the new managers will do to turn that place around.
Thats all for now, I'm sending all the love and good energy your way.
Love Angelina
I just happen to be up at 7 am and I was thinking of you. I hope the procedure went well and that you are doing great. It sounds like you're having a great time and that you have seen some really great places and things over there. Hurry home to the BBY and no worries the neurotic virgo will protect you from Patti the moo. Miss you lots and can't wait to see you!
Whitney
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