SEPTEMBER

Hi All...

Haven't written in awhile. Just thought I would post for no other reason than myself.
I found an overdue bill and called Dr. Gs office to settle it. In the meantime the nurses wanted me to come in and talk to Dr. G about the Czech trip. So I reluctantly went in August and talked to them. He told me I should try IVF again and also that maybe we should try half donor sperm and half of J's sperm. HA! was all I could think. J would never go for that.
I left the office thinking I would not tell J of this news. But then it occured to me that I should. When I told him he automatically was on the defensive and that big man ego came out to my surprise. He informed me that in his first relationship he did get some woman pregnant TWICE and TWICE they aborted it, due to being so young. EXCUSE me, doesn't that count as withholding information?? Why would he never say something until now? I have been an open book. All these procedures completely invasive to my body and soul and he can't even tell his wife during the initial workup this needed information. Ugghhh.
So we immediately call the Dr. for another sperm test. $400.00 later, we go and get the results and of course all is beautiful. His sperm is perfect!!! O, but of course. They want us to try again. I asked J where we would get more money. To my horror and suprise he told me I could sell my car and get a cheaper one. How sweet of him. Is this the husband I picked?

This whole thing is bullshit. This marriage, this whole IVF. I can't take it any longer. The Dr. is so hopeful for us AGAIN. One can't have any idea of this struggle unless they are going through it. TRUST ME.